Glimpses

When Cortney and I are old and grey, I want the boys to know what our marriage was like when they were too young to take notice. I want them to know that we are best friends and that we laugh all the time and that, truly, we are still just two college students. So with that, I give you glimpses into our marriage…

A few months ago I was at the grocery store with the boys. We were in the freezer section and happened to have passed some corn dogs. They were on sale and I thought maybe the boys would like them when the babysitter came over later that night. We went home and I ended up making one for Will for lunch. He wasn’t interested, so I took a bite to show him that it was edible. I was kind of taken back on how good it was. I haven’t had a corn dog in at least a decade and something about it just hit the spot. Will still wasn’t interested, so I just finished it for him.

For the next few days, these corn dogs became my afternoon snack around 4 pm, when I was hungry but dinner would be for at least another hour. It was a great little daily taste bud adventure back to my childhood.

A week later, we were getting ready for church. I had just finished getting dressed and came around the corner into the kitchen and found Cort crouching over in the corner eating a corn dog. He quickly shot me a glance that was somewhere between shock and complete betrayal and said, “How could you not tell me we had CORN DOGS?? Man, these are so good!”
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Last Saturday we loaded up in the red Sienna on our way to Target and Whitney Houston’s “I Have Nothing” came on Spotify. Within a matter of no more than 30 seconds, we were both belting it out as loud as we could, high voice inflections as everything. Practically screaming the lyrics.

Go ahead and get that mental image in your mind.

I guarantee what you have in your mind is exactly was the real image looked like.
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Cortney frequently listens to podcasts while he is on the metro and came home one day going on about a Bill Simmons podcast with Flea. It was a really interesting interview traversing many different topics and after his synopsis decided I really wanted to listen to it too. I hadn’t envisioned Flea as such an intellectual and wanted to hear it for myself.

A few moments after this conversation ended, Cortney said, “Oh it’s just so great that I can talk about Bill Simmons and Flea in the same conversation with my wife and never have to explain who they are.”
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We were at the gym a few nights ago and we were feeling pretty lethargic when we entered the gym, so by the end of a mediocre workout, we had felt especially “worked over”. We finished a sad abs routine and both looked at each other like we were going to die.

I looked at Cort and said, “Let’s go home and eat pizza—something we’re actually good at.”
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I scheduled my annual exam with a Dr. a friend recommended. Within a few seconds of the exam, it was apparent that this OBGYN was a gay man. I absolutely loved him! He was hilarious and super personable—exactly my prescription for an OBGYN, of course, in addition to being super smart and thorough.
I called Cort on the way home from my appointment and left a message that a gay man just gave me a pap smear, as a side note to the fact that I had found a really great OB who was super well versed in hyperemesis—my biggest issue.

A few hours later, I got a text from Cort saying, “From now on, we will only be referring to this Dr. as the gaynecologist. Kinda disappointed in myself that I didn’t think of that sooner.”
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Our cute neighbors brought over cupcakes with attached valentines for Valentine’s Day. They happened to be MadLibs valentines and I started asking Cort for the necessary verb/nouns/adverbs to make the message complete. I’m not sure if it’s hilarious or sad at how much we laughed when we read these.

Here is what we came up with:

1. Get your motor grinding and on the ingrown toenail for Valentine’s cleavage!

2. Hey sweaty Valentine, I’m so svelte that you’re elbows stay plentiful!

We’re such nerds.
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Duke has a horrible habit of peeing almost instantly after getting out of the bath. One particular night, we got him out of the bath and he ran into the family room before we could get a diaper on him. I was getting Will out of the bath, so Cort followed Duke out. Cortney came back a few moments later, grabbed a towel and said, “Darn kid is quicker on the draw than Jesse James.”