Yesterday the boys and I went for a walk around the block. There had been a flash rainstorm just a few hours before and the ground was still wet and there was that "fresh rain" smell in the air, something I haven't remembered smelling for a while. We often walk to a nearby county club where the boys ride their bikes in the parking lot over the speed bumps and throw rocks in the creek that runs through it.

Something about the newness of the ground posed me deep in thought. After a few minutes of random thoughts, I handed on our financial situation and usually when I think about this, I quickly become frustrated and short tempered. But for some reason yesterday the thought quickly came to my mind, "money well spent."

Surely we would have a little more wiggle room if Will didn't have special needs that needed constant attention. If we didn't have to sell a car to pay for his therapy and every month when we write out the check for his preschool, it feels like a sucker punch, I'm sure things would feel different. But I'm happy to pay that money for him. Thrilled, even. I would work graveyards if I had to for Will to keep going to Parkwood. It's been the best school for him in every possible way. He is just so much better off there, and not allowing him to keep going would severely hinder his progression. And there is no price tag on the impact St. Kathryn has made on all our lives with the service she has provided to our family. She's a miracle worker and I practically skip across the kitchen floor to write her that check every month.

I also thought about all the places Cortney and I have lived. We have lived in 5 different homes in 6 years. It's a lot easier to have financial ground when you stay in the same place for a suspended period of time, because moving costs money. Especially when you move to really expensive places, like Washington DC. But when I think about all the places we have lived, I just remember all the wonderful friends we have collected along the way. All the people that became our family and will always be a part of our family.

Cortney and I have traveled all across the country together. More than a few times. We've been to Hawaii, about to go on our second cruise together and literally everywhere in between. When I think of girls I graduated high school with, I can't think of anyone who has had such an action packed six years of marriage as I have. And when I think about the thought of living in the same city, or even the same state for six years, I think how boring that must be. Of course I'm biased, but who wouldn't want this adventure? I'm sure many others would feel like this instability would be some sort of nightmare, but it has more than filled my need for spontaneity and adventure.

When Cortney and I got married, we planned on living abroad as soon as possible. We craved the exotic life of expatriates. But it became apparent as time went by that wasn't in the cards for us early in our marriage (probably because the Lord knew about Will's needs long before we did), but we've still been able to have that adventurous lifestyle in the states. I learned how to go on long road trips with my kids by myself and those have become my favorite memories with them. Cortney and I fare well as the "new people" and have carved out our identities quickly whenever we encounter a new social circle. And I don't think I would have ever taken that challenge upon myself if I wasn't always tying new things, because I've been presented with the opportunities to do so for the past six years.

Other than when we were in grad school, there has never been a time when I could say definitively where we would be living in six months. And you can't really live that life forever. Once the kids start going to school, you can't just pack up and move like you did when they were younger. Somewhat bittersweetly, I know that time is coming to an end and I'm so happy we were able to go wherever the opportunities took us early on because all those places, all those houses, and all those people have truly defined us.

And the more I thought about it while I hopped around the wet pavement with the boys, the more I realized (again) I have a very rich life. Maybe I don't have a growing retirement account (or savings account, for that matter), but I have six years of the most incredible memories, a lifetime of lessons learned, a strong marriage, and friendships that will forever bring me smiles and laughter. And if I had to chose the life I've had or a monetary safety net, without question I'd pick our life.

*not that you can't have both (money and a rich life), but for us I'm so glad we didn't let student debt or other financial strains deter us from this crazy, mixed up, wonderful adventure we've had.

**this is a jumbled, poorly-written rant but putting it out there for journaling purposes.