Sad

I'm been melancholy for the past few days. Something stirring in my soul, but not ready to come out yet. Not a weepy tone, but one of feeling distant from the life right in front of me.

Duke asked if we could color together. Of course, I said. I sat down and he handed me an orange crayon and I colored a pumpkin and then got up to make myself some lunch. One of the side effects of my mood is not eating. I was weak and starving.

I came back to the table to find this.





Duke drew his ninja and then morphed my pumpkin into a ninja too. It seemed so metaphorical, I almost burst into tears. But actually the tears have only come now as I write this. I represented myself as a pumpkin, an outsider, perhaps. And Duke made clear I was part of his team. HIS team. Even melancholy, I was still welcome on his team.

At another point today, my barely two year old Matt asked, "Mom are you sad? Are you crying?" He's two! And no, I wasn't sad or crying, but I guess he could just tell that my heart and mind were heavy. Kids are so in tune, it's insane.

I'm going to take my sparkling water upstairs and cuddle with my boys on the couch and watch cartoons. Forget homework. This is the only thing I feel like doing this afternoon.


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