Fhe

I learned tonight that there was a lot more inspiration involved with setting aside Monday night as a family night to have a spiritual lesson (or in our case, a 2 minute explanation of a picture depicting a scripture story) than I had previously thought.

The reason why we have fhe on Monday night (one of the reasons in my mind anyway) is so that when you fail miserably, you have 4 more evenings that week to try again. Here was the series of events this evening that caused me to come to this conclusion:

1. Cort gets home from work. Cue decently behaved children to turn into belligerent psychopaths.

2. Parents shove down food as fast as possible while pulling Will down from the 3rd shelf on the bookcase and pulling Duke away from an imminent death by stairs.

3. Force kids to eat. And yes, force is the correct word for this scenario. Will: yogurt, pumpkin muffin, and cantaloupe. Duke: formula and rice cereal.

4. While Cort is holding Duke and coercing Will to eat 3 more bites, Duke vomits (exorcist style) every ounce if his cereal/formula mixture splat all over the floor. Luckily we were in the kitchen and no carpet was involved, however Cort's suit pants were innocent bystanders. Clean up floor.

5. Clean up Duke, while threatening Will to finish his dinner so he can play Angry Birds on Dad's phone.

6. With just his muffin to go, we reiterate one more time that "if you finish your muffin, you can play Angry Birds on Dad's phone" to which he shoves the entire muffin in his mouth and while trying to chew and swallow, gags and vomits the muffin and everything that preceded it.

7. Will dives into a major meltdown (he didn't have a nap today) about having puke on him (can't say that I blame him) and strips down for a bath. Clean up floor, again.

8. Two very whiney kids in the tub and we finally get them out, Cort and i give each other "the look"- the look that means we've made it to the home stretch! Just get them in pjs and read some scriptures and we can call it a day!

9. Due to him being on the verge of hysterics, I physically have to bend Will's legs for him to sit on my lap in an effort that we can show Will a picture from the Bible and remind him that "Jesus loves you!"-which seems to be the lesson every week, now that I think about it. Meanwhile, Cort is holding Duke he has been whining nonstop.

10. Will won't sit still and jumps up, only to hit my jaw with the top of his super hard skull. Ouch.

11. On the verge of tears, I open up our picture book and find a picture of animals on the ark and ask Will to find the elephant and he gets up and runs away, to which both Cort and I are not sure wether to start sobbing or punch the wall. I make the executive decision to throw in the towel and say, "forget it!!!!!!"

12. Cort goes to the library to finish some work things. Put both children in bed (both crying) and let them cry for 30 min while I corner myself in my room and watch Mormon Messages on my phone (and you better believe this was in effort to remember why I'm supposed to love my kids).

Peace out fhe. I love you, but seriously, just not today. Let's try to play nice tomorrow night, ok?




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone